Row Reduction....

Do you want to do row echelon reduction using Gauss- Jordan Elimination, or do you want to do cofactor expansion of the submatrix...... i think both should give us idempotent results concerning the circle of three given points on a planar surface in four dimensions...

Teaching

The culmination of my teaching career was evinced today when one of my students at the old folks activity center complained that her mouse wasn't working properly. Instead of giving any form of verbal advice, I slowly walked towards the computer that this particular elderly lady was working on and upon arrival flipped her mouse right side up and walked away.....

Of course she was amazed that her mouse was working correctly....

The art of rhetoric

In the ancient times, the time of the Great Learners such as Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato, the art of rhetoric was taught. Rhetoric being the art of speech and in many instances the art of argument. This is not argument in the sense of a yelling contest between parent and child because that is simply what it sounds like, yelling; yelling where everyone tries to say something at the same time, but no one is listening. What I'm speaking of as art of rhetoric is the ability to give an intelligent and well thought out speech, off the cuff; the ability to put two coherent thoughts together in such a way as to convince someone else that you are right (especially if you aren't). Why has our educational system moved away from the idea of pitting one student against another in a battle of wit where the best man wins and where there is always the chance that you get outplayed. Of course, having strong facts to support one's position is always beneficial to an argument, but just because you have more fact behind your argument does not guarantee you won't be embarassed by your opponents logic and wit. This is not to say that fact should have no bearing in our lives or legal system, but don't people owe it to themselves to fight what everyone else seems to accept as truth and fact. Why have we removed ourselves so far from the ability to think for ourselves and argue a point without taking offense afterwards. I don't know how many of you have been in a good argument or a heated debate recently but there is definitely nothing as liberating as defending a position that you know is right or even better, defending a position you know is wrong.

So my question remains, why don't we take things back a few hundred years to the time of well contrived arguments and well thought out remarks where a quick wit ruled the day. No more of this "richest man" or "best politically aligned" rules bull crap.

"Person of the Week"

Dear “Person of the Week” Awarder,
This is Seamus/ Shane/ Shawn/ Shaun/ Sean/ Rojo/ Wanny/ Baker/ Bakerface/ ShayVaca/ Firebush/ etc. First of all, I think it’s obvious why I should be person of the week, I have acquired a bazillion nicknames and interchange between them. One nickname in particular, Shane, I acquired in tenth grade English class. Not only did I accept the nickname, but I proceeded to write it on all my papers and made all my teachers call me by that name for the rest of high school career. And it didn’t stop there. I continued to lie about my name at college and one of my professors even calls me Shane; and guaranteed not many people know my real name. Also, I should be person of the week because I have a huge mane of red-hair which chicks love and even more importantly, chicks love to play with. In addition, I understand that you concur that I am an all around sweet dude, which is evinced by reminiscing when we made up the most famous and infamous sentence in the history of high school and I quote, “Why do you give me my face back after all these apart from each other overseas.” Oddly enough our English teacher claimed that this was not a sentence although, it is apparent that this sentence possesses all the necessary parts to be considered a working sentence. There are many other accomplishments I could claim that I believe would help me attain the illustrious status of “Person of the Week” such as teaching George Washington not to lie and Thomas Jefferson to read, but I believe the actions that truly attest to the fact that I deserve this honor are my streaking excursions.
To elaborate, as you know not only did I streak a few times during high school, but I streaked at least 28 times. The list includes:

1.) Jubilee parking lot (5 times)
2.) Cinemark Dollar Theater parking lot
3.) Burger King drive through
4.) Pat Bukowski’s car on Main Street
5.) Main Street in front of Police Station
6.) Gibson Park (3 times)
7.) Kelly Rut’s house when she was reeeeeally drunk on her birthday
8.) Random backroads (3 times)
9.) Beside I-90 in New York
10.) Naked soccer on North East soccer field (3 times)
11.) Naked soccer on Mercyhurst North East campus soccer field
12.) In front of the Yacht Club
13.) The Beach (countless times)
14.) The Beach (where someone yelled my first name while I was naked…. terrifying)
15.) Mercyhurst Main campus w/ hott chicks

Of course there are a many more reasons I should be “Person of the Week” and if more information is needed feel free to contact my attorney. Thank you for your consideration in regard to this illustrious position

The "Internet"?

Regretfully it has come to my attention that too much of my life has been wasted on what is known to many as "cyber space" or what I like to call the "internet". The point being, I believe that by alleviating myself of the burden of the "cyber leash" of "America Online Instant Messenger", I will be able to increase the efficiency of my life as well as be able to lessen the obvious immaturity and uselessness that occurs "online". Now, I'm not asking everyone else to follow suit... I'm telling you to. In conclusion, do not expect me to be "logged in" or partaking in the actions associated with the "internet" for an extended period of time. I have a semi-perfectly working phone and answering machine if you wish to converse. My number is (814)-824-2807. Feel free to call into the wee hours of the night. Thank you for your time. Good day to you


Feel free to comment on the recent happenings in my away message, but i will not reply to any of them. Expressing how you feel is still encouraged but please do so in letter form. Please mail to:

Seamus O' Callahan c/o F. Gehres
501 E. 38 St. B1061
Erie, Pa 16546

If you have any further questions or concerns you may contact my attorney, Franklin Wayne Gehres. And again, thank you for your time.