3926 Lewis Street Apt #1

It's not gay if it's a practical joke.

Christopher Robert

There is no good way to read

Mattie Giles

I would play the trash can drums meow

Vincent Furtado

You only have one ball, so you technically don't have to DO anything.

Maintenance

"I fixed your oven and then broke your VCR. You're welcome and sorry.

Love,
Samir

A kid in my philosophy class

"My body earns me my paycheck".

He takes the Bible out of context all the time so it's only fair that I take him out of context.

Huckleberry Finn and I are both Idealists

THAT'S HOW YOU DEBATE

if guns kill people, then its the spoons' fault that Michael Moore is fat.

the male redback spider

The male redback spider is eaten by the female after they mate. How does this compare to your own dating life?

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.

metaphor for my life

I think Valentine's Day is like a couple's skate at SkateWay.... everyone wants to participate until you actually have someone.... and then you hate it because you have to skate backwards......

i think that may be a metaphor for my life.......

I find....

I find myself a disciple of John Dewey.

This party is pretty awkward..... and I would really appreciate it if you Don't Break the Ice®.

the root word "girl"

girls have a persuasive manner about them that is far more powerful than we males can understand. no, im just joking, i got no problems putting a girl back in her place. but seriously, they possess level 9 scorceress powers when it comes to decisions, feelings, drugs, tonka trucks: just about anything i guess. did i spell scorceress correctly? if not, just hose me down with a fire extinguisher. naked. then lets shower together. also, return sarv's gold watch that you broke. or don't, i dont really care; its just that he keeps whining about it like a little girl.

i dont want you to end up selling your body for small chinese-made trinkets.

P.S.

On a better note i went to the gentlemans store in
downtown dayton (suits, nice shoes, and ties, the high tie
and fancy type) I told them I wanted a hat i could be proud
to were while Im on adventures. So now after a good
amount of money was exchangd I have the only thing i
needed to start exploring, I have a sweet adventure hat.

Word Frank, Cuz I Ain't Mad At Cha

would you like to PURGE this message.



Love Fwank

Feedback

I'd like some feedback in the form of a Mr. Coffee 2000 with the response engraved on a 24k Gold plate which should be mounted on the percolator. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Signed,
Administration

Calculus Machina

My computer just changed my name to ZARGRASKVILTZPA........ and i don't appreciate it........

Have you been H.A.D?

That's right folks its Honduran Awareness Day!
And its time for you recognize the fact that there's probably a Honduran living in your building or in the bunk below you

Are you sure you're not Honduran?
Today is the day to find out
So get yourself checked out

My Roommate......

My roommate, Christopher Robert Kelly, proved himself a man today when he came back from a five point deficit (5-10) in Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey to tie it all up with two seconds left in regulation.... He proceeded with momentum into the overtime period and dashed the hopes of the opposing team, the Buffalo Sabres, by sliding a goal past the goalie with sixteen seconds left in overtime to finish it off in sudden death. The team carried him on their shoulders around the rink and eventually off to the locker room to celebrate by destroying innumerable brain cells and losing all clarity of thought and consummately losing consciousness by way of liquid beverages....

Incidentally

Love is like the sun...... is it beautiful?.... yes... but it can burn your eyes out....

Penal Colony

I don't want to penalize anyone......

Nocturnal Somersaults

When you're really tired (and I'm talking four in morning when your eyes barely open and your roommates are all asleep) I challenge you to do a somersault into bed..... trust me it will not work out half as well as you expect........ which is really saying something because how well do you really think this will work......

Air Bud

Some people live vicariously through their children..... I live vicariously through the Air Bud series......